Why hello there! It’s been a long old time hasn’t it. I must admit I’m suprised at how long its been since I last did a blog post. Truth be told it’s hard to find the motivation when you feel like you can jump on an Instagram live and chat to people in real time, all while getting ready for the day or trying out some new products for my kit.

I have missed it though and I often wonder if people do actually still read blogs. Its funny its like my vinyl collection, I like knowing its there. I’m guilty of not using it enough but when I do its often cathartic and reminds me of the pleasures of checking in with actual words and grammar (or my lack there of).

I decided a while ago to take the pressure off of my social engagement and promised myself I would focus my attention on the things that bring me more joy, and allow myself to dip in and out of varying platforms as and when I felt like it, a decision I’m pleased to say in itself as made the whole partaking of social media much more enjoyable and hopefully that comes across.

I’m still making regular youtube videos and spend a lot of time on Instagram at the moment, mainly creating live videos, stories and IGTVs, I think mostly because its so accessible to create on the go, and is so much easier to focus on the content rather than the production quality that I think youtube tends to demand. That being said, Instagram is a tough platform because of the constant changes, and I’ve heard many creators talk about the importance of blogs and the knowledge they have more control over it verses content essentially owned and under the control of another company like Instagram etc. I feel grateful to have this space no matter what happens across other platforms, and I love that I can dip in and out of it, especially when I want to talk about something more in-depth.

Work

I’ve signed to a new agency and feel so ready for this next chapter. I’m feeling really excited and hungry for new challenges. Do excuse me and my boss attitude pose (these pics were actually for a work project but I liked them and they were taken by a close friend of mine). I think its important that while I may look like I’m bossing it in these pics, there’s often times when I massively suffer with imposter syndrome and can feel just as anxious and unsure as the next person, especially recently. It’s something I’m working on, but I think it’s important to acknowledge that no-one has their shit together all the time, and when I feel like that I just try to focus on why I got into makeup in the first place, and thats because for me its pure escapism.

Full Coverage podcast also won beauty podcast of the year at the Johnson and Johnson beauty awards which was incredibly exciting and we’ve been so overwhelmed by the support from you guys. Seriously we can’t thank you enough!

Health

I remember coming back from London back in march and feeling tired. Like really tired. I felt sluggish, low on energy and incredibly lethargic. I made a decision there and then that it was time to start prioritising my health. I knew in my heart I didn’t want this to be a focus on weight loss (even if weightloss ended up being a side effect from focusing on my health), I wanted to focus on what I could bring into my life rather than what I could take away that would bring me more energy, better focus and just feel physically in better shape making everyday life less exhausting. I also wanted lasting change that was maintainable and could become a part of my everyday life as opposed to some crazy all or nothing mind set.

Fast forward four months and I feel so much better. I feel content in a body that is strong and more energised than before. The main difference isn’t ground breaking or in any way astounding, nope I just had to make time to move more and eat better. I’ve always exercised but not to a point where I challenged myself, it would always get to a point where it felt monotonous and boredom would set in. I’ve learnt I need variety, I need to keep things interesting. I still listen to my body and I’ve focused on making a conscious effort to fuel my body properly (no more skipping breakfast and going crazy at lunch).

My big thing though is my approach to all this, coming from a place where I can love my body at every size has made it easier to focus on how I feel, as opposed to how I look and that staying my main motivator. I made a deal with myself that even if I didn’t look any different, as long as I felt better I would keep doing this for myself, solely for the fact it feels good, and THAT alone is my motivation.

Being able to check in with yourself is an invaluable skill one thats taken me years to learn. A big part of that is also knowing categorically what doesn’t work for me, namely associating words like ‘clean’ and ‘bad’ to food or my body are big no nos. All food is good in moderation. As soon as something isn’t ‘allowed’ surprise surprise thats all you want, where as when I say to myself you can have anything whenever you want it, that promise means it will always be there whenever I want it, and there’s a relief in that. That relief reminds me that because I can have it any time I don’t have to have it right now, but I can also have it if I really do want it, does that make sense? It removes the urgency to get it while I can, if I know later I’m going to take it away again forever.

Getting back into cooking more has been a huge help, and if theres one thing I fully appreciate now its the power of food prep! Yep, whenever I cook now I batch cook so I don’t have to cook again later, I think what else that dish can become tomorrow. I’ve also enjoyed challenging myself to try new recipes, thanks mostly to Pinterest!

All bodies are beautiful, and I stand by that. I think there’s something very empowering about choosing to prioritise your health, especially when it comes from a loving place, the hard part is staying open to the outcome and not trying to put any pressure how that physically manifests itself. I’d like to write more about my relationship with food and exercise and feel the blog might be a good place to do so.

Leisure

It’s no exaggeration to say myself (and the rest of the nation) have thoroughly enjoyed binge watching Euphoria. Even if you watch it for the makeup alone, that show is incredible. It made me want to play with glitter and colour and just get creative again.

In addition to some lovely road trips with Dave and our new pup Paddington (did I mention we got the cutest rescue called Paddington?) spending a lot of downtime in the desert, it’s become our go to vacay spot when we want peace and quiet and a little digital detox. The desert also helped me find love for reading again and making time for other hobbies like journalling and scrap booking, so who knows there may be the odd post on that soon also! I’d love to know where you enjoy reading/viewing content these days, so if you fancy, leave me a comment below and in the mean time I hope all is well with you. Thanks for reading!

Photos Kayla Varley

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